a new job, but no steelhead

and sometimes i wish i were drunk and sometimes i wish i were a cat and sometimes i wish i were a bird, a songbird, nondescript but with an enchanting song.
describe me by my song.
sometimes i wonder if i make any decisions. i live out the energy the world has destined for me? i transform or trascend that energy? that energy has myriad possibilities and somehow i choose?
what is my choice?
me now:
i teach. i read. i sit. i take pictures. i read. i email. i cook. i eat. i drink tea. i take walks. i fish. i read. i eat. i sit. i fuck. i talk on the phone. i water plants. i eat. i garden. i drink more tea. i have a hard time falling asleep from all the tea i drink.
is this my life?