work and fishing

sorry it's been so long...
i wrote a long post last week (about our hike with anne and amit to the waterfall you see here) and when i hit "publish" i got an error message and LOST EVERY DAMN WORD.
well, needless to say, i was so frustrated i just shut off the computer and haven't been anywhere near blogger for awhile. i actually had to count to ten so i would say anything abusive when i came back, but -- look -- i already swore. oops.

um... i've been having dreams lately about my new job. as a women's studies professor! ah, yes, it's only a silly adjunct job, one whole class, crappy pay, no benefits, etc. etc. but i'm so excited! when i'm drifting off to sleep or not focused on a specific task, my wandering mind starts planning that class. what to read, what to watch, what to talk about. i'm so excited to explore these issues. the class is almost completely full already -- 20 of 25 spots have been filled. hurrah! i'm going to try to keep those few boys who do enroll, but i hear that's a challenge. the funny thing is... when i was an undergrad, taking women's studies classes, i *loved* it when all the guys dropped out. i really looked forward to the class with all women -- it felt different, empowering, supportive. like people were nodding, no one was feeling defensive or aggressive. this obviously reinforces some of those gender stereotypes, but it was true that many women felt the class was a safe place to vent and many of the men felt (whether true or not) they were under attack, and responded thusly. when they were taken out of the equation, the class seemed more cohesive.
so... now, as a teacher, i'm going to try to thwart the possiblity of some young undergrad having the same nurturing experience as i did! well, not exactly, but i can't help thinking that i'm planning on working to retain the few male members of my class when there might be some women in the class (as i was lo those many years ago) only all too happy to see them go. but my view of gender studies issues has certainly evolved since 1996, and i certainly feel that, when it comes to issues of gender, sex, and sexuality, we are ALL in some serious need of a supportive environment to explore, investigate, reflect, subvert, and unlearn. men and women and everyone else.
so... accepting this teaching post means i probably won't be able to complete my MEd and get my certification in english, which is what i've been doing for the last year. negate the last year of work? why not? i mean, that whole law school thing was just a blip on the radar screen, wasn't it? not really, of course -- it probably made me a more viable candidate for this teaching job, and may make it possible for me to be a professor for real someday in the future (it is a doctorate, after all, i tell myself and anyone who would be willing to interview me for a prof. job). and i might actually do some law-related work this summer to extra dough, but visions of lawyer-ness are no longer dancing in my head. it took about five months of 1st-year law school for that demon to be exorcised.

last week was a wonderful, but all-too-brief vacation from, well, whatever it is i do. an overnighter at teller wildlife refuge! it's only an hour away, easy driving distance from missoula, but fishing that's inaccessible unless you're a guest at TWR. we got to be guests because i bid on the trip at a silent auction for montana water trust. for just $160 we got the $350 package -- a stay at the awesome chaffin cabin (sleeps 6, if you want to pitch in next time) and fishing in the irrigation ditch from flyfishing heaven. the creeks across the property were closed, but they led us to a little creek down the road that was just a diverted part of the bitterroot river. the 'root was in runoff, raging past just a half mile away, but the channel we fishes was just slightly high, a little off-color, and loaded with big, hungry brown trout.

the ditch was a two-mile drive from our cabin, and on the way down the gravel road we drove past a horse ranch moments after a tiny colt had been born. he was just gaining his legs as we went past, his mom's head low to the ground beside him as though she were willing him to stand. he swayed and staggered, drunk with the new world of air and sunshine...

he was so beautiful!