hopening up
the days are starting to get longer again. it's a scientific fact, but i'm starting to feel it a little, too. maybe it's just the sunny days we've been having. not a cloud inthat blue sky yesterday. the fish didn't like it -- not one take yesterday at rock creek -- but i basked in it. my camera likes the light, too, opening up spectra and palette and mind.
i've been thinking a lot lately about being mad -- at w, the war, alito, loggers, meat-eaters, walmarters -- you name it. and about good and bad. and i've been thinking a little about math, which i don't understand very well, and about how there are patterns of population and migration and cultural trends that seem to follow equations. and so when i decide i want to live with my partner for my own set of unique reasons, my reasons are cool but i'm also expressing an inevitable statistical trend. and when i buy organic and when i vote green and when i accrue student loan and credit card debt and when i get a degree and when i can't find a job and when i sit in my big black chair with my legs crossed and meditate on rattlesnake creek, which i can see reflecting right now, through the leafless trees, like a river of sunlight below, i am a molecule of water, riding a wave. i am me, unique in my perspective and experience and influences and instincts, and i am also an expression of a larger something and so rather than controlling and judging and criticizing and manipulating (self/other), i am watching it unfold.
a downy woodpecker just flitter around on the deck for a minute. he found a seed in one of the flower pots out there, and he ate it, and i watched him for a little bit more, and he saw me, and he flew away.
i've been thinking a lot lately about being mad -- at w, the war, alito, loggers, meat-eaters, walmarters -- you name it. and about good and bad. and i've been thinking a little about math, which i don't understand very well, and about how there are patterns of population and migration and cultural trends that seem to follow equations. and so when i decide i want to live with my partner for my own set of unique reasons, my reasons are cool but i'm also expressing an inevitable statistical trend. and when i buy organic and when i vote green and when i accrue student loan and credit card debt and when i get a degree and when i can't find a job and when i sit in my big black chair with my legs crossed and meditate on rattlesnake creek, which i can see reflecting right now, through the leafless trees, like a river of sunlight below, i am a molecule of water, riding a wave. i am me, unique in my perspective and experience and influences and instincts, and i am also an expression of a larger something and so rather than controlling and judging and criticizing and manipulating (self/other), i am watching it unfold.
a downy woodpecker just flitter around on the deck for a minute. he found a seed in one of the flower pots out there, and he ate it, and i watched him for a little bit more, and he saw me, and he flew away.
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